“As you go through life, Falk, there will be no shortage of people who will tell you how to live. They’ll have all the answers for you, what you should do, what you shouldn’t do. Don’t argue with them. You know, say “Yes, that’s a brilliant, brilliant idea,” and then do what you want. And whenever you’re right, strive for originality. But if you have to steal, steal from the best. Oh, oh, and if you take very good care of your styptic pencil and dry it after every shave, it will last longer than most relationships that you’re in.” – Anything Else, 2003

“I know gay men, I practically invented them!” – All Over The Guy, 2001

“If only my life could be more like the movies. I want an angel to sweep down to me like it does to Jimmy Stewart in It’s A Wonderful Life and talk me out of suicide, I’ve always waited for that one moment of truth to set me free and change my life forever, but he wont come, it doesnt happen that way. All the drugs, all the therapy, fights, anger, guilt, rave, suicidal thoughts, all of that was part of some slow recovery process, the same way I went down I came back up, gradually… and then suddenly. The pills weren’t the cure at all, God knows, but they gave me breathing space which allowed me to start writing again only this time it was not as if my life depended on it.” – Prozac Nation, 2001

“Reed Richards had to use his anti-matter weapon on his own son, who Aannihilus has turn into the Human Atom Bomb. It was a typical predicament for the Fantastic Four, because they weren’t like other superheroes. They were more like a family. And the more power they had, the more harm they could do to each other without even knowing it. That was the meaning of the Fantastic Four: that a family is like your own personal anti-matter. Your family is the void you emerge from, and the place you return to when you die. And that’s the paradox – the closer you’re drawn back in, the deeper into the void you go.” – The Ice Storm, 1997, based on the novel by Rick Moody

“The truth: It’s not overrated!” – Big Fat Liar, 2002

“Love is not something that happens to you, it is something that you choose to happen.” – Love and Other Disasters, 2006

“Fundamentals are the building blocks of fun.” – Uptown Girls, 2003