On A Clear Day, You Can See Yourself

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I wanted to talk to him longer awhile back, but my break time was already over so I had to go back to the office, assume responsibility, and pretend that this mundane task will make any difference. Before I met him today, a colleague and I had some mix-up in the office. I didn’t know what led me in a coffee shop when I was supposed to eat something good for the mind. There must be an angel who gave me a friend when I really needed someone I could talk to other than someone who is not related to my work environment. I can no longer call my best friend who could have been my sister-in-law a few months ago. She is still on the stage of self-healing right now. It is true that when it rains, it pours, but there usually is a rainbow after it. I gained an educational lift today in an hour —- yes, in just a one-hour break. I was not mistaken to storm out and unwind, and I did not regret not going through what others were trying to expect me to do as if life is okay because I’ve found a new friend today. Life is not okay. Life is the pits. Love is the pits. Life stinks. But he reversed my definition —- Life is okay. Life is a game. Life kicks. Similar to what Dr. Sonya Friedman wrote in her book On A Clear Day, You Can See Yourself, there is fulfillment when you separate who you are from who you’ve been told you’d better be, or should be, or could be. When you begin to take the kind of sock of yourself you’re taking now, you begin to see that you’ve got power of your own, power unattached to anybody else. You do not have to look outside yourself for energy. You don’t have to plug yourself into somebody else’s current for direction. You can generate yourself. And that in a nutshell, is the goal: to become a self-reliant woman and confident in your own ability to meet life head-on. And so much for being sentimental, I didn’t realize there’s more to something than constantly proving yourself efficient to someone who thinks you’re not doing well. He’s a globetrotter and has an awesome, paramount interest to travel and wanderlust. I don’t usually talk to strangers, let alone foreigners but we hit it off. He’s based in New York and other than the Philippines, he’s been to Tokyo, Korea, China, Canada, Italy, etc…etc and might be to some places which I am not aware are included in the globe. Now, what can I say…  I do not even have one-eights of his life full of adventure. He even knows a lot of places here in the Philippines more than I do. He was talking about the beaches, the tropical weather, the traffic, and he had witnessed Typhoon Ondoy in his one month stay, but on top of all that, he said that Philippines is one of the countries he loves most. Having been traveled to a lot of places, he said I must be so lucky to live in a place where there are great supermalls, cinemas, coffee shops, and where people are nice and know how to speak the international language well — English. He loves the Filipino traditions and foods even if he already misses their Pizza in New York. He made me see the best in what I have right now. He was talking about the Russian songs, first names, cost of cars, medical benefits in New York, including how to handle his staff in his own clinic and how to make a California Maki. I’ve learned all of these things in just an hour. Well, maybe I would never see this guy again, but this is one of the best conversations I’m going to write on my journal. I am the one residing here in the Philippines, and I should be the one who have shown him great hospitality as a visitor, but he was so fixated on telling me that, in time, I should be feeling okay. When I left that coffee house, I wonder where I had been.

I am commemorating my Father’s death anniversary this Sunday, June 10. Last night, after I offered fruits and burned incense sticks, I burst out both laughing and crying and asked him to clear my mind. I do not know what he’s thinking right now; neither do I know what he did from up above —- but must he be the angel? Because right now, it’s a clear day and I can see myself clearly now!

My Spiritual Journey

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The term “Dalai Lama” for some, signifies that  a spiritual monk from Tibet is a living Buddha but he stresses to say that just like any other, he’s just a human being. What exactly is our true nature as human beings? When a spiritual leader speaks of kindness and compassion, we often think he is expressing himself as a Buddhist, a Tibetan, a Dalai Lama. But actually he is speaking to us in human terms, and that kindness and compassion is our human nature. As human beings, we are all the same — made up of body and soul and we all wanted the same thing — happiness. How then can we achieve happiness if not all people’s hearts and intentions are pure? When someone has wronged us and caused us too much affliction and sadness, it is hard to think of kindness and compassion. He hurt me, why should I be kind to him? She’s not a true friend, why should I practice compassion? I’m not a fool and I’m not going to stand by while they all try to hurt me. And thus, the human being cliche follows, “I’m only human”, “To err is human, to forgive is divine.” They are not that good to me anyway, so why should I be good to them? “I’m not that much of a saint!” But is forgiveness only for all the saints and the divine? Every person we meet is our brother and sister and we are called to love one another as God has loved us. We cannot excuse ourselves that we’re only human to make mistakes. As humans, we always have a choice to love and show compassion, that makes us all have dominion over all other creatures. We are made to love and nurture our fellow. We must understand that even if your adversaries seem to be harming you, that is none of your business. Let God take care of everything. If you want happiness, follow his golden rule: “Do  not do unto others what you don’t want others do unto you.” Only then will you realize in the end that their destructive activity will turn against them and it’s not your job to rein in your selfish impulse to retaliate. Notice how compassion gives you the greatest satisfaction. We may not always understand how it works but a spiritual journey is always a mystery. God’s love is a perfect manifestation of how we always survive. So what’s the real instinct of a human being? To err or to love? If you’re caught between hate and love, know that everything is between you and God anyway, and not between you and them.

For One More Day

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Happy Mother’s Day! How many of you are familiar with the story of a troubled young man who had a suicidal attempt to be with his mother for one more day? Did it move you to tears? For One More Day by Mitch Albom is a perfect book to read on this special day dedicated to mothers. It tells of a man who was bombarded with life’s everyday problems particularly in his family, career, finances, and vices. One day, he decided to drive to his old hometown to end his life and be with his mother. His suicidal attempt was a failure although the long drive led him to an accident before he reached his hometown. He had a chance to talk to his mother for just a day. His mother was able to help him get his life back on track by revealing some issues he had in his childhood that would serve him a lesson. He soon regained his consciousness from the accident and was able to rectify the dwindling relationship he had with his family particularly, his daughter Maria. The story is one proof that a mother’s power to nurture our lives since she gave birth to us does not end until death. A mother will always be there to protect us. We are nurtured, first in her own womb, eating the right foods so we could be healthy, doing the right thing in her pregnancy so we could come out to this world able and presentable. Thus, at birth she was the happiest person on earth and we could never measure the love that she has unless we become mother ourselves! A hometown is the most sensitive place a person can dwell because in it, the matriarch plays the most important role! When I think about hometown, the word Mother immediately comes into my mind. Yesterday, we had our Alumni Homecoming in our hometown and I wasn’t able to attend because I don’t want to have a sight of what was once a reminder to me when I was growing up. We no longer have our home in our old hometown and I just can imagine how this pains my mother so much. She wanted a happy home for us eversince but she had to leave us in our crucial adolescent stage to work abroad to be able to send us to school. This is a mother’s greatest dream, to have a harmonious life in a happy home with her family, and so leaving the country was her greatest sacrifice. She wasn’t able to live that dream for almost 20 years! Ah, Mother! How I dread the word so much! You wanted something for yourself but the kids should come first! Isn’t that stressful enough? Sometimes it isn’t about fun anymore. It’s more about survival! A lot of people think I don’t understand because I’m not a mother yet. But I do understand and so I’m afraid to be a mother to even try! Being a mother is the hardest job. I don’t even think I have the qualifications to vie for such role. Mothers, I’m so proud to all of you! You are all modern heroines! And children, make this day the day you won’t even regret not having done something special for your Moms someday! Why don’t you make the most out of it….for just one day?